Barking Dogs at night
Hey! Everyone has had
malicious thoughts about barking dogs at night and
their owners. How many of us have called next door neighbors to
about Fido's nocturnal noises? Most I would suspect. If your neighbors
like mine they couldn't care less. Of course, this magnifies the
Below is an humane solution to the problem.
Take care to
judge the size of the offending animal. The suggestions below
relate to a dog the size of a Beagle. Here follows, the formula:
Take an accurate
1/6 of a dose of chocolate Ex-lax, wrap it in a small ball
of ground beef and feed it to the offending canine beastie. Shortly the
problem will cease.
THEORY ELUCIDATED Barking requires the ability to concentrate considerable pressure in
abdominal region. This is implicit upon the maintenance of pressure
all sphincter muscles. Frankly speaking Ex-Lax significantly reduces
integrity of the anal sphincter thereby dramatically reducing the
ability to sound because of the simultaneous loss of pressure due to
-- Bill Mac 8 Dec 2002
Bad Tips. I'm writing you to inform you that giving ex-lax to a dog could result in the fatality of the animal since chocolate is poisonous to dogs. - TW
Disclaimer: Hints-n-Tips does
not actually recommend any of the tips and suggestions found on this
does not mean that we do not occasionally laugh our socks off at some
submissions!! Please note that an ingredient of chocolate is very toxic to dogs and some other animals, and that the above article recommends ONE SIXTH OF A DOSE. Note that dogs vary considerably in size so even the very small amount recommended, if given to a very small dog, could cause harm.
Recently I heard of a way to stop those dogs who are barking at night
... and it's not dangerous to the animal. (You just have to be dressed
and ready to go out to do something about it. Usually the dogs are
barking after the person being annoyed is already in bed.) I saw this
on a Japanese TV program, with instructions by dog trainers who made
house calls to help people know how to control their dogs better.
Fill a spray bottle with 1 part vinegar to 1 part water (for example,
1/4 cup vinegar and 1/4 cup water). When the dog starts barking, simply
spray the vinegar water in the direction of the dog ... not in it's
face. The smell will cause the dog to have to breathe in more deeply,
and it only takes a couple of times to train the dog to stop barking.
This works best if the owner of the dog uses this method, as the dog
would normally bark more at strangers.
House dogs that barked every time the doorbell rang were trained to
stop barking in less than 5 minutes - and it worked there after, too.
They would ring the bell - the dog would bark, the owner would spray
once in the air above the dog's head, and the dog immediately stopped
barking ... without the owner having to say a word! They waited a few
minutes, and repeated the process. The third time they rang the bell (a
few minutes after the second time), the dog did not bark.
By the way - I REALLY like your site!!! -- "Cathy"
Cathy Garrott, Nagasaki, JAPAN 7 May 2003
Barking Dogs at night -- Additional Notes -- A Defense
I bet the vinegar spray is a good solution. However it is a shock
just as involuntary excretion is a shock as well. I don't see one
more humane than the other. I will admit the commentator's argument as
presented may be a small bit less traumatic only because of duration.
I challenge this
interested party to trespass and spray a vinegar
on a neighbor's dogs in the kennel clearly located on private property
during nocturnal hours. Whereas my method can be delivered by
a short distance of course) especially if it is bound by some kind of
non-toxic paper tape. The one time I tried to deliver the package
crossbow there was an unfortunate outcome. Although the canine beastie
it now goes into attack mode when it sees anyone with a
should have my trifocal glasses checked. I used to be a good
and no, I didn't actually shoot the beastie, I just scared the SXXX
In response those
interested in a practical and universal solution to
problem of barking canine beasties residing on another
might reduce the cited dose by 50% if they fear the proved recipe
However, I argue that all animals must excrete sometimes we do
than other times. Even we humans on occasion need some assistance
job done. So therefore I argue, and I believe quite convincingly and
logically and reasonably as well, assisting a canine beastie in this
enterprise can be an educational, relieving and silencing experience.
Truly, a beastie
so trained will not have the added stress of being
at or having rude thing thrown at it by sleep deprived,
You see, bricks can do real fundamental harm and I am certainly against
harming any pet or captive animal.
W. B. "Bill" McCaslin
Barking Dogs. My friend found a way to stop a dog from barking in the middle of
the night. She got up, got dressed, and walked the
neighborhood until she found the barking dog. Every time the
dog barked she rang the doorbell. She said if she had to be
up, so should the owners! After a few times of ringing the
doorbell she heard the backdoor shut and no more barking
dog. She said they never came to the front door to answer
the doorbell. Gotta laugh but it worked! -- Dummybear
More interesting articles by by Bill McCaslin:-
||Ensuring the disabled have power
||Mild retribution for the nasty ones
||Don't let Spyware ruin your day
||How to really use the magic metal
How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? ~ ~ Woody Allen